I've Never Dated You Before
by jewishwondergirl
Summary: James and Lily's first date starts out incredibly boring. Lily, determined to make the night a success, takes an idea from Breakfast at Tiffany's and challenges James to do things the other hasn't done before. Nearly all of them are illegal.
He came by to pick her up at eight, and it seemed like the beginning to a perfect date.

At the restaurant, he pulled her chair out for her, and he seemed perfectly gentlemanly.

He opened his mouth, and his conversation was perfectly dull.

The third time he circled back around to talking about the horrible weather in London this time of year, Lily interrupted him: "James Potter, I cannot believe I ever thought you were entertaining."

He blinked once, his mouth gaping open like a goldfish, then closed it. Then opened it again, blinked once more, and spoke again, sounding uncertain: "I—II—what?"

How eloquent. Lily resisted an unladylike snort. "Have you nothing interesting to contribute?" she asked sweetly, reaching over for another slice of bread from the basket. "I mean, come on. Tell me about...I don't know, the time you snuck into the kitchens and nearly gave a poor house elf a heart attack. Oh, or the first detention you ever got."

James frowned. "Evans, you're the _reason_ I got my first-ever detention."

Lily threw her gaze skyward. "I don't understand. Did Sirius slip some potion into your pumpkin juice this morning?"

"I'm sorry," he said. "I thought—I thought this would be what you wanted? When you said yes, I thought you wanted something perfect and normal."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I said yes to _you_ , didn't I?"

"Well, then I'm sorry to disappoint you, but all I have planned is dinner at this _ridiculously_ stuffy restaurant." James buried his face in his hands, shoving his glasses up into his hair. "Don't know why I thought this was a good idea. Peter put me up to this place; something about his mum liking it."

"And Mrs. Pettigrew is the picture of a good time," Lily said, now feeling a tad sorry she'd said anything at all. "Here, listen. I was watching _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ the other day—"

"Watching what?" James had lifted his head, and his eyes had regained their fervor. "Is this one of those cinnamon things you mentioned before?"

Lily giggled. " _Cinema._ But yes. Anyways, there's a part where they go on this...well, a _sort-of_ date, and they take turns doing things the other had never done before. Maybe we could do that. Hell, we've practically already begun. I've never eaten in a restaurant where the salads are over thirty pounds apiece."

"This _was_ a terrible idea," James said, getting to his feet and offering the redhead a hand. "Sounds wonderful. Shall we?"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Who am I to say no to an adventure?" he said, the sparkle back in his eye. "Besides, on the way I can tell you about the time I snuck into the kitchens and nearly gave a poor house elf a heart attack."

Grinning broadly, Lily took his hand and allowed herself to be lead from the restaurant. Unfortunately, it was located in a high-end, well-lit area, so they had to walk quite a bit to find a place to Disapparate. "Where to first?" Lily asked, once they had ensconced themselves in a dim alleyway.

"Well, you went first," James said. "My turn. What haven't I done before..."

"Gone to a cinema?" Lily suggested.

James shook his head. "Went to see that _Star Wars_ flick with Sirius last year."

"Really?" Lily was impressed. "How'd you like it?"

"It was fine. I didn't get it."

"That's to be expected." Lily tilted her head, thinking. "Something classically Muggle, something—" she blinked, suddenly thinking of her sister's quiet house on its quiet lane in Surrey. "Have you ever egged someone's house, James?"

"I can't say I have, no. What does it entail?"  
Lily's mouth slid into a smile, slowly. "Before we go pay my dear sister a visit, I need to stop at the store."

LILY: 1 JAMES: 0

A carton of eggs between them, Lily and James sat on the pavement outside the Dursley's house. "If I remember correctly, they're at some sort of party for Vernon's work. They shouldn't be home for an hour or so." Lily stood, picking up the carton. "Just take an egg and throw it at the house."

James frowned. "That's not a prank, Evans, that's property damage."

"No," Lily insisted. "It's quintessential."

"To what?"

"Life," she said decisively. "Come on." She picked an egg out of the box and handed it to James, stepping forward onto the neatly trimmed lawn, weighing the egg in her hand. She took aim, and then threw. It sailed through the air in a perfect arc, and landed with a neat _splat_ on the painted door.

Lily stepped back onto the pavement to admire her handiwork. "Your turn," she said, taking the carton back from him.

"How do they clean it off?" he asked, sounding uncertain.

"With soap and water, I suppose."

He still seemed doubtful, but he stepped forward regardless, taking the egg Lily held out for him. "Window or flowerbed?"

Lily squinted. "You can't make the side of the flowerbed."

James grinned, his competitive spirit suddenly back. Lily found herself glowing with pride. She had coaxed him out of whatever shell he had been hiding in—er, no pun intended. "Watch me." After a moment of taking aim, he released the egg into the air.

With the aim of a true Chaser, the egg found its target, splattering against the wooden frame of the flowerbed and the tulips in it.

Lily cheered, jumping up and down. "Brilliant! My turn—" She had just reached for another egg when two spots of light appeared at the end of the street, growing steadily closer. "Crap," she said, paling. "That must be them."

"There are plenty of other Muggles on this street," James said, but the uneasiness was back.

"Either way, neither of us has ever been arrested before, and doing something NEITHER of us has done is against the rules. Okay?"

She dropped the rest of the carton on the Dursley's doorstep, then grabbed his hand and ran down the street, away from the approaching headlights. They ran until they had left Privet Drive, and collapsed on a swing set in some small park nearby.

"If doing something neither of us has done before is off-limits...Evans, have you egged a house before?"

Lily blushed, grateful for the dark. "When I was about thirteen, there was this neighbor, Mrs Geoff...she was a middle-aged woman, and she was always griping about something. The fact that I was never around to help my mother in the garden during the year, how I dressed...I swear, this woman sat on her porch for no other purpose than to criticize us all. I think Petunia aspires to be her, actually..." Lily giggled. "Anyways, one day I decided I just couldn't take it anymore. So the night before I got on the Hogwarts Express back to school for my fourth year, I snuck out and chucked all of the eggs mum had bought for my special breakfast at her house."

James snorted. "How did you explain away their absence?"

"Vanishing spell gone wrong," Lily said plaintively. "She was angry, of course, but there was nothing she could do. She wrote me a few weeks later saying Mrs Geoff had moved, and was trying to sue some hooligans for damages." She shrugged. "They never caught me."

"Brilliant," James said, leaning back on the swings to look up at the stars. "Have you ever stolen from Honeydukes?"

"No," Lily said. "Have _you?"_

"'Course," James said bracingly. "C'mon. Let's go."

"Are they even open this late?" She wondered.

"'Course they are," He said. "They're open 'till ten."

Lily squinted to make out her watch in the dark. "It's half past nine."

"Then we'd better hurry." James got to his feet, brushing some dirt off his trousers. He offered her a hand again. "I'll side-along you. We'll use a secret entrance I know about."

Lily took the hand, and the second she did, he Apparated her away.

LILY: 1 JAMES: 1

They appeared in the basement, sneezing in the dust, between a box of chocolate frogs and Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. Lily's fingers skimmed the top of the chocolate frog box, reaching for her wand to open it. James grabbed her wrist, shaking his head.

Lily raised her eyebrows in a silent question.

He jerked his head upwards, towards the store.

Her eyes widened in disbelief.

His lips twisted in a smirk.

She pursed hers, and then nodded, unable to keep a small smile from forming.

James pushed open the trap door, scanning to make sure the coast was clear, and then offered Lily a hand up. By some stroke of luck, the man behind the counter and the woman attempting to sell Ice Mice to a young couple did not notice the two teenagers sneaking out of their basement.

Lily pointed discreetly to a bin of Bertie Bott's, but James shook his head again. "Too obvious," he mouthed. She rolled her eyes, moving on to a box of fudge. She had just picked it up when she felt James give her arm a squeeze, and she noticed that the woman had moved on from the young couple, to a mother and son far too close to Lily and James for comfort. Lily set the box back down and the two moved along, his gaze furtive at the shop owners and her fingers skimming each item lightly, trying to decide which she could shove in her pockets easiest.

For so late at night, the candy store was fairly busy, though not nearly enough so as to make the theft easier. Lily spied an abandoned selection towards the back, where they'd arrived. She moved towards it slowly, James edging along behind her. He looked apprehensive. As she neared the display, she quickly learned why.

"Acid pops?" she asked, wrinkling her nose and holding one up.

He nodded grimly. "Cockroach clusters, too. And other things equally unappetizing."

No one in the shop was paying them any attention now. Lily stuffed an acid pop down her shirt in the blink of an eye and brushed her hair over one shoulder to disguise the movement. "Now what," she said, looking to him expectantly. "Is that all?"

James sighed. "I was hoping to steal something we'd actually _eat,_ Evans."

"Who's to say you _won't_ end up eating it?" she said sweetly. "I have access to your morning pumpkin juice, Potter. One slip up..." she let the sentence dangle, a smile on her lips.

He shook his head, grinning. "Shut up, Evans. Let's get out of here."

LILY: 2 JAMES: 1

They'd ended up buying two normal lollipops, "to cover up our misdeed, obviously," James had protested, before popping his in his mouth stubbornly. Lily laughed, before selecting a strawberry lollipop she hoped she wouldn't confuse with the acid one in her bra.

"Where to next?" Lily asked, as they exited the store through the front door this time, the bell over the door making a cheery jingle. The night was a bit chilly, and Lily wasn't dressed for it. She stuck her lollipop in her mouth to free her hands and rubbed them together.

"I don't know," James responded, grinning. "It's your turn, isn't it?"

"I think it's _your_ turn, technically, but whatever. Let's see...have you ever been to a disco?"

"Last year," James said dismissively. "Not really my scene, if you know what I mean..."

Lily nodded thoughtfully. "Me neither. Just a thought. Um...have you ever flew off the top of a swing?"

James blinked. "No, I haven't done that." He frowned. "Have you?"  
"Obviously," she said. "There's a park near my house. But it's a bit cold out, it's dark, and our accidental magic has all dried up. I'm not sure if it's the best idea..."

"Safety first, after all," James said cheerfully. "You can't think of anything. Are you conceding defeat?" He bit down on the lollipop, and Lily heard the crunch of molars against candy.

Lily poked him in the chest. "Hey, I'm _winning,_ mister. I've done two things I've never done."

"The first doesn't count!" he whined. "You were mocking me when you said it. We're tied."

"Okay," Lily said. "We're tied."

LILY: 1 JAMES: 1

James nodded solemnly. "Thank you." He tossed his lollipop stick aside and exhaled through his mouth, his breath fogging up in front of them as they stood in the middle of Hogsmeade. The town was quiet, most people having retired to their homes or in shops, which were closing quickly.

Something occurred to Lily, and her heart skipped a beat. She ran the sentence through her head twice. "You've never—" she stopped herself, her face flushing.

"What?" he looked at her, his dark eyes glinting behind his glasses. "What haven't I done?"

Well, she supposed, there was no going back now. She took a deep breath, steeled her nerve, and said, "You've never kissed me, have you?"

James swallowed. "No," he said. "I suppose I haven't done that."

"So," Lily said, stepping a little closer. She pulled the lollipop out of her mouth, twirling the stem between her fingers. "I suppose you _could_ forfeit, and this night could end in a tie, or—"

He smothered the rest of her words with his mouth, one arm coming behind her waist as he kissed her, pulling her to him and out of the cold. Her lollipop fell out of her hand, which had gone limp in shock. She was much warmer now, Lily thought, her thoughts sluggish. This was nice. She stood on her toes to kiss him back, her hands tangling in his hair.

A light in the store near them switched off, and they finally broke apart, their noses pink from the cold. Lily was still breathing hard. "I suppose that means there'll be a second date?"

"I certainly hope so," James said, his chest rising and falling.

Lily bit her bottom lip. "It's late," she said, regretting the words. "I really should be getting home."

James offered his arm. "What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't Apparate you to your door?" he said charmingly, his roguish grin back in place.

Lily grinned right back. "Why, thank you," she said, placing a hand on his forearm. "But you see, I can Apparate myself." She rose onto her tiptoes once more and kissed him on the cheek, before Apparating to her doorstep, smiling the whole time.

James stood in the dark street for a while, a stupid smile on his face. He inhaled deeply, convinced he could still smell her. Finally he grew too cold, and Apparated home.

* * *

A/N

A one-shot to tide you over before the next chapter of The Road to 100! I hope you like it, I was watching Breakfast at Tiffany's the other day and this struck me as a brilliant idea for a fic! As always, send me a prompt over my tumblr (2upergirl) or shoot me a PM, and I'll write it! (Probably). Let me know what you think! Should I write more of these? I'm trying to write a multi-chapter in which James and Harry switch bodies, but I'm nooooot positive it's a good idea. Pls tell me if I should continue.

Love you all!

Alys


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